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Joke time- for real

05900

Embrace the BRAAAAAAP!
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Nov 27, 2007
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Where the Buffalo roam
A guy is in the market for a used motorcycle. He always
wanted a big Harley. He shops around, answering ads
in the newspaper, and is not having much luck.
One day he comes across a beautiful classic Harley with a for
sale" sign on it. Upon inspection, he is amazed
to find the bike in mint condition. He inquires about
it with the owner.
"This bike is beautiful! I'll take it. But you
gotta tell me how you keep it in such good shape.
"Well," says the seller, "it's pretty simple. Just make sure that if the bike is outside and it's going to rain, rub Vaseline on the chrome.
It protects it from the rain. In fact, since you're buying the bike I won't need my tube of Vaseline anymore. Here, you can have it."
and he hands the buyer a tube of Vaseline.

The guy buys the bike and off he goes, a happy biker.
He takes the bike over to show his girlfriend. She's
ecstatic (being a Harley fan).
That night, he decides to ride the bike over to his
girlfriend's parents' house. It's the first time he's
going to meet them and figures it will make a big
impression. When the couple gets to the house, the girlfriend grabs
her boyfriend's arm.

"Honey," she says, "I gotta tell you
something about my parents before we go in. When we
eat dinner, we don't talk. In fact, the person who
says anything during dinner has to do the dishes."
"No problem," he says. And in they go.

The boyfriend is astounded. Right smack in the middle
of the living room is a huge stack of dirty dishes.
In the family room, another huge stack of dishes.
Piled up the stairs, dirty dishes. In fact, everywhere
he looks, dirty dishes. They sit down to dinner and, sure enough, no one says a word.

As dinner progresses, the boyfriend decides to take
advantage of the situation. So he leans over and kisses
his girlfriend. No one says a word. So he decides to reach over and fondle her breasts. He looks at her parents, but still they keep quiet.

So he stands up, grabs his girlfriend, strips her
naked, and they make love right on the dinner table.
Still, no one says a word.

"Her Mom's kinda cute", he thinks. So he
grabs his girlfriend's Mom and has his way with her
right there on the dinner table. Again, total silence.

Then, a few raindrops hit the window and the boyfriend
realizes it's starting to rain. He figures he'd better
take care of the motorcycle, so he pulls the Vaseline from his pocket.


Suddenly the father stands up and shouts: "All right, all right! I'll do the damn dishes."
 

05900

Embrace the BRAAAAAAP!
Lifetime Membership
Nov 27, 2007
10,696
4,560
113
Where the Buffalo roam
Girl-meme-Oh-my-gosh.jpg
 

Marty UT

Stirring the pot
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Nov 29, 2007
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Utah
George Bush and Obama ended up in the same barber shop. Each being worked on by a different barber, not a word was spoken. The barbers were even afraid to start a conversation, for fear it would turn to politics.






As the barbers finished their shaves, the one who had Obama in his chair reached for the aftershave. Obama was quick to stop him saying, “No thanks, my wife Michelle will smell that and think I’ve been in a whorehouse all day.”





The second barber turned to Bush and said, “How about you sir?” Bush replied, “Go ahead; my wife doesn’t know what the inside of a whorehouse smells like.”
 

05900

Embrace the BRAAAAAAP!
Lifetime Membership
Nov 27, 2007
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Where the Buffalo roam
Four boys were fishing. As their boat rounded a point on the lake, they saw a man thrashing in the water.

With no hesitation, they jumped into the water and saved him.

It was not until they pulled him to shore that they noticed the man they had saved was President Obama, who had slipped away from the Secret Service for a swim.

When President Obama caught his breath, he thanked the two boys and offered them anything they wanted in return for saving his life.

The first boy thought about it for a while and finally answered.

"I would like a presidential appointment to West Point so I can serve my country."

The next two thought that was a great idea, but one said he had always wanted to be a pilot so he would rather attend the Air Force Academy.

The third boy chose the Naval Academy.

The president turned to the fourth boy, who was still thinking.

Finally he answered, "Mr. President, I would like a burial with honors at Arlington National Cemetery"

The president was shocked and asked the boy why he would make such a request at his young age.

The boy replied "Because when my father finds out I saved you, he is going to kill me!"
 

05900

Embrace the BRAAAAAAP!
Lifetime Membership
Nov 27, 2007
10,696
4,560
113
Where the Buffalo roam
FOOTBALL TICKETS FOR SALE

2 season tickets for sale.

It’s almost that time of the year.

My wife doesn’t like the person who sits in the seat next to us and will not attend any more games.

I’m, the guy with the baseball hat sitting behind and looking at that person.

I have included a picture with the view from the seats.

Tickets will be sold to the highest bidder.

Current Bid: $6,500 each.

football.jpg
 
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